Where it all began

Me and my three dogs, circa 2011/2012ish. Yes, that beanie says “Pack Leader” (cringe)

My journey to becoming the dog guardian and trainer I am today is a rich one. I took a lot of wrong turns, and I had to unlearn a lot of misinformation. Overall, I had to have the courage to look deeply at myself and my beloved dogs, and what we really need from each other.  

Oh, and I had to get really, really comfortable with admitting when I'm wrong.

There are a LOT of stories to share about this wild journey, but for today, I'll start at the beginning. I admit that I'm a little embarrassed to share many of these stories… but I hope they can help others avoid the same mistakes. Knowing where I came from also explains why I'm so passionate about countering misinformation in the dog training industry, and why my current approach means so much to me. I've come a LONG way and learned a lot of lessons!

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My journey to learn more about dog behavior and training began in 2012 with a one-month intensive with a Cesar Milan-style trainer in California. While there, my mentor taught me the in’s and out’s of Cesar’s philosophy and approach to training. This was exactly what I wanted—I was a huge fan of Cesar’s and had all his books & DVDs.

I had the wrong idea about him though. 

I liked Cesar because I thought his philosophy was rooted in a dog's true nature. I naively assumed that if he was looking at the “true dog”, then his approach would be backed by science and research. I recall a moment when I asked my mentor where I could read some of that research, and he got extremely defensive. In hindsight, I now know that he was defensive for good reason—there is hardly anything scientifically accurate or humane about Cesar’s way of seeing, explaining, and working with dogs.

Turns out, the pack/dominance theory that Cesar centers in his work is not only outdated, but was never valid at all. It was based on faulty research and assumptions, and even the scientists who originally pushed that theory had long since admitted they were very wrong. The whole idea that dogs live in a pack with a hierarchy and a clear leader is false. Modern dogs are social animals who form social bonds, but they don't form a “pack” with a hierarchy, and they're not constantly vying for position (and there is plenty of research across multiple disciplines that supports those statements!). Without pack/dominance theory, there's really little to no credibility left for Cesar's approach, or for anyone who draws from pack/dominance theory, my former self included. 

But it would be many, many years before I realized that.

At the time, I soaked up all the (mis)information I could about dog behavior and how to modify it. I returned home and started trying to help folks with their dogs, and right away I realized that this approach wasn't very practical for everyday dog guardians. I could plainly see this isn't how people wanted to live, interact and bond with their beloved dogs, and… a part of me agreed with them. I struggled to implement what I'd learned with my own dogs because it required me to be so distant and removed. My mentor taught me that if I wanted my dogs to see me as their leader, then I had to treat them “as if they were a piece of luggage.” In other words, emotionally neutral. I tried my best, but it didn't take long for me to deeply miss our joyful, playful, loving interactions. I missed our bond and our closeness, and I knew I wouldn't keep doing this luggage thing.

It wasn't long before I sought another mentor, hopefully one who could help me make dog training more realistic. I found one, alright. He emphasized that dog guardians don't have to try to be a pack leader; so long as they're willing to issue corrections, they can “have their cake and eat it too”—aka, they can enjoy their beloved dog and expect better behavior. 

Sounds promising, right? It was, sort of. Also not so much. 

But that's a story for another time. :)